The Bigger Picture

My whole life i was taking life for granted. I was always moping, never understood why this and that happened. See i was sucidial for many years of my life. I had the same vision or kept seeing the same thing over and over in my head. I never understood why though? Was it because I was looking for Love, Joy, was it my past. To tell you the truth i don't know what it was but i never did it. Thanks to God and family who gave me the strength to keep going when i couldn't. I've been rapping for about 6 years now. That was one of the ways I could escape from the thoughts of sucide also. Through 2011-2012 was my tougher year so far to date. I fell in Love for the 2nd time, i was living in the past, i was immature, and made the wrong decisions. Through that time i picked up some habbits that I thought would never happen. I blame myself for those actions. I made the decision to do the wrong and it came with consequences. With those decisions I lost a lot. I mean a lot. Truthfully I deserved it, I lost the girl, I lost trust, people looking at me differently, and me. By me i mean losing my way. I didn't know who i was anymore. I felt like if i was a disappointment. So i had to make the right decision and starting growing as young adult. Start making smarter decisions and learning from my mistakes. I began going through changes on a day to day bases. I went to counceling every 2 weeks or so, changing where i go hang out, and being more dedicaded to God more and the passion for rapping He gave me. Still to do this day i want to continue to grow, learn, and be better than the person who i was yesterday. To all people that i hurt, loved, love, in my life, out of life, friends, foes, and all the above. Thank you all because of everyone I becoming the man that i am suppose to be. I want to thank God above all else. Just know if you out of my life. Just know I have no grudges, no beef with you, nothing, whatever the case may be. To the people that i hurt forgive me. Lets start a new and see where life takes us.  Everyone is held dear in my heart and Much Love. Live, Love, Laugh

One of my raps that reflects my feelings:

http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=11787181

Sincerely,

Ariel Velez III 

Comments

jvazquez's picture

Wow powerful story please erase those thoughts of suicide you are brilliant, good looking, and creative you have the world! I know your story is going to help billions as this site grows. As far as decisions man, you have to experience what is wrong to know what is right in your heart, powerful story! Your are blessed! Share some of that swag!
AV3sms's picture

Thank you and Praise GOD. I hope it touches your heart
tvazquez's picture

Thanks so much for sharing! I hope your courage to write this will help someone else going through a dark period in their life. I know a couple of people who could have used this.
AV3sms's picture

Thank you and Praise GOD.
nelly54vazquez@yahoo.com's picture

My heart goes out to you my nephew Ariel...didn't know you were in so much agony. We have such a big beautiful family that it's a shame we do not stay in contact...I love you and want to let you know if you need to talk to someone I'm always here for you. Your grandmother Emily and I are close. I wonder why she never mention it. I know she is also going through a rough time as well. I love you and will pray for our family that God would let us stay in contact with one another more often. Hope to see you soon before the summer is over...God Bless You...my precious nephew....In God's name AMEN
robbie-rob-bernhardt's picture

i understand where your coming from with the sucidial thoughts i live with them everyday of my life since i was the age of 12 years old
AV3sms's picture

Well you will never be alone :). But you just got to keep going and Let GOD take care of the rest ;)
jvazquez's picture

I wanted to say to the both of you, you are both courageous to admit these things. Everyone wants to walk around like everything is perfect when it really is not. I believe you both have understanding about life where many of us don't. I'm inspired by you both and I'm glad you made the choices to live!!